New Vlog Post:

I uploaded my weekly Vlog, a conversation about being post Christian, intended for those disillusioned or have left Christianity. You can watch it here.

Rambling (Non-controversial) The Bitter-Sweet of Life:

Some of the most difficult milestones in life are those defined as “bitter-sweet.” The classic example is where grandma has been suffering for months and has now passed. The loss of her–someone you have loved and shared so many memories with–is now gone from this earth, yet, her suffering has finally ended. It is like being of two minds . . . all at once. In some ways, a pure loss is easier to digest.

The most difficult “bitter-sweet” moment of my life was the weekend my mother died, and my daughter got married. I had to choose to either attend a funeral in Tennessee or a wedding in Washington state. I chose the wedding, in confidence, yet not without regret. I was very close to my mother and have carried alot of guilt about that since. But I thought my heart was about to exploed that day, as sorrow and joy intermingled through my veins like oil and water.

Today I said goodbye to my grandson after a 5-week visit. We were respite for him, giving him the oxygen he needed as he was sinking in sufficating difficulties at home in Minnesota. It was a glorious but tiring 5-weeks. I’m totally exhausted. Yet, having only seen my grandson eleven times in elven years, I got to know him far better than I ever imagined. But, it was time for him to go home to try and recoup his life again.

We will miss you Hayden with a profound feeling of absence. I came home to an eerily-quiet house. We are praying for you, my dear boy. God be with you. Pa.