Helplessly Looking out the Window

An early morning lament:

There are days such as this, where I feel so helpless. Impotent yet an observer. A window on a world that has gone mad, for which I can do nothing.

I hate suffering. I hate it for myself and for others. I despise it most for the children. Wars, famine, displacement, and cruelty. Lord, what can I do? A world awash in lies, destructive lies. Hate, one for the other. Dysfunctional governments, including our own.

I have this intuition, maybe it is false, that if I were only better gifted, smarter, had a body that wasn’t so frail, that there would be something I could say, or do, or write that would make a difference. An existential guilt. I know the answers, but without certainty. But I am ineffective to do anything but to watch. The needless suffering of a world drowning in tears.

I hear some say almost with a chuckle, “It’s just the way the world is. There will never be peace in the Middle East, there will never be food in the desert. Madmen will always rage.” I also hear them say, “All you can do is pray.” I do, but John Legend expresses what I feel in his song, Show Me. ( I will post his music video at the bottom).

Guess it’s funny how I say thanks to you

For all you’ve given me

Sometimes the price of what you gave to me

I can’t stop questioning

O God of love, peace, and mercy

Why so much suffering?

I pray for the world, it gets worse to me

Wonder if you’re listening

When people go

Why do they go?

Why don’t you choose me?

But someday I know

I’m gonna go

I hope you’re waiting for me

But for now I know, if I were stronger, better gifted, a smarter or better man, somehow, somewhere I could make a difference. But for now, until I go, I have nothing to do but to stand and look out the window on a world that has gone mad. Lies, the father of all destruction. Meaningless suffering, where there could be peace and prosperity.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=W6fcyTEqkeo%3Fsi%3D_YXegconwpofLoei

Mike

4 responses to “Helplessly Looking out the Window”

  1. cehuber Avatar
    cehuber

    Mornings like that I take a moment to read Wendell Berry’s excellent poem “Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front”. I highly recommend it.

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    1. J. Michael Jones Avatar
      J. Michael Jones

      Interestning: I will post it here. Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

      by Wendell Berry

      Love the quick profit, the annual raise,

      vacation with pay. Want more

      of everything ready-made. Be afraid

      to know your neighbors and to die.

      And you will have a window in your head.

      Not even your future will be a mystery

      any more. Your mind will be punched in a card

      and shut away in a little drawer.

      When they want you to buy something

      they will call you. When they want you

      to die for profit they will let you know.

      So, friends, every day do something

      that won’t compute. Love the Lord.

      Love the world. Work for nothing.

      Take all that you have and be poor.

      Love someone who does not deserve it.

      Denounce the government and embrace

      the flag. Hope to live in that free

      republic for which it stands.

      Give your approval to all you cannot

      understand. Praise ignorance, for what man

      has not encountered he has not destroyed.

      Ask the questions that have no answers.

      Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.

      Say that your main crop is the forest

      that you did not plant,

      that you will not live to harvest.

      Say that the leaves are harvested

      when they have rotted into the mold.

      Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

      Put your faith in the two inches of humus

      that will build under the trees

      every thousand years.

      Listen to carrion — put your ear

      close, and hear the faint chattering

      of the songs that are to come.

      Expect the end of the world. Laugh.

      Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful

      though you have considered all the facts.

      So long as women do not go cheap

      for power, please women more than men.

      Ask yourself: Will this satisfy

      a woman satisfied to bear a child?

      Will this disturb the sleep

      of a woman near to giving birth?

      Go with your love to the fields.

      Lie easy in the shade. Rest your head

      in her lap. Swear allegiance

      to what is nighest your thoughts.

      As soon as the generals and the politicos

      can predict the motions of your mind,

      lose it. Leave it as a sign

      to mark the false trail, the way

      you didn’t go. Be like the fox

      who makes more tracks than necessary,

      some in the wrong direction.

      Practice resurrection.

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  2. Robyn Myers Avatar
    Robyn Myers

    It is good to recognize you are having a moment like that. Feel it, grieve for the world, democracy, yourself. Be angry at the Free Will choices of other humans who inflict so much suffering on others. Years ago when pondering the question of Why if God can, doesn’t He stop plane crashes? It came down to physics (his Creation) and the free will of humans (also his creation and choice to give us free will). I stopped praying that the plane wouldn’t crash, and started praying for the pilots, crew, air traffic controllers, that they would make the best possible decisions today. God works in the hearts of humans.

    So in my own Free Will I ask God to help me to make the best possible choices and decisions with opportunities and situations I have to before me to spread His love and kindness in the world, to live Matthew 25 service. And as Heather Cox Richardson says we each need to “take up oxygen” speaking up and speaking out about what matters to us, about the benefits and importance of democracy, one on one to friends and neighbors, to larger groups (like you do with your writing) and in our actions as we live our daily lives. Here in a mostly Blue state it can feel like preaching to the choir, but the purpose of preaching to the choir is to make Sing!

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    1. J. Michael Jones Avatar
      J. Michael Jones

      Yes you are right. I can’t imagine how determist deal with it, “everything is as God wills.”

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