I love my church. The people have beautiful hearts. I envy their dedication and respect their character. Without hesitation, I can say most are better than me. Our church stands as a beacon to our community from the incredible amount of humanitarian work that flows from its doors. I even love and respect two or three who have felt compelled to inform me that my relationship with God is no good based on the things I write here, the Sunday school classes I’ve led, or what I shared in a small group. Though painful for me, I still consider, even those, as dear friends.

The Bad News

However, there is a problem for Christianity in Western civilization. It is slowly dying and the attrition rate is escalating. This demise could easily go unnoticed in churches like mine, where it is imperceptible until it comes home when a child or grandchild is no longer Christian.

After subtracting out new church starts, 1-2% of American churches close, and 1.5-2 million people leave Christianity each year. A pivotal year was 2020 when more people were “unchurched” than in church for the first time since our country’s founding. Being in or out of church is the pollsters’ marker of Christianity. But this does not capture the many who are leaving the simple and fundamental teachings of Jesus of Galilee, not even believing Jesus was a real person or that there is a God, but remaining within the church for nostalgic reasons. I’m glad our pastor shared some of these statistics a year ago via sermon, even though she was criticized.

It is extremely difficult for cultural groups such as churches to self-correct. It is a principle that they must satisfy the majority (at any one time) who are staying and who love the status quo. In other words, If they try to adapt to the “leavers,” they lose the “stayers.”

Once I dreamed of creating a niche within the church for the disillusioned, a place where people could wrestle with the hard questions without condemnation. I was unsuccessful. I think someone with more talents than me might have pulled it off. So, fifteen years ago, I created this blog as a safe place to have these difficult conversations. After countless conversations with the leavers and years of study, I think I bring something to the table.

To the stayers, I understand that my writing sounds like a criticism of the status quo. It is not. But to reach the disillusioned, the leavers, I must deconstruct Christian traditions, to separate American Christian culture from the simple teachings of Jesus of Galilee. I am not the enemy of the status quo. Like I said above, I love and respect those who love the culture the way it is. I am not trying to persuade them to think differently. If these things offend you, then I ask you to leave this blog. I must have the freedom to have an honest conversation with the leavers without fearing retribution from the stayers.

A Misguided Response

The conservative and progressive churches have taken different approaches to the decline of Christianity in America. I will write more about this in future posts. For now, I will say that both churches have given up on their aspiration for truth (factual truth). As I’ve said before, the conservative churches have sacrificed the pursuit of factual truth for political power. The progressive churches have given up on factual truth for the sake of “harmony.” It is my opinion, that this loss of interest in evidential truth, the decline will not end, but hasten.

The Good News

I have studied several research papers and one book on why the leavers are leaving. The good news is that the leavers are rejecting the American Christian culture, not the simple teachings of the historical Jesus and I feel it is helpful to point out the difference.

My calling is not to criticize or try to change the church. I foolishly tried that in the 1990s after leaving and then returning to Christianity. I accomplished nothing but angering people who, in turn, wanted to punch my lights out. I’m tired of being yelled at. My heart is to leave the status quo alone, support their good work, and love and respect them, but to create a niche where I can speak honestly to the disillusioned. The marginalized. That’s what I’m doing here.

Below, I have a simple one-act-play that covers the most common reasons Zoomers are leaving Christianity. Listen carefully to the messaging.

Setting: Sunday morning, time to leave for church.

Father: What do you mean you’re not going to church? Are you sick?

Jen (Daughter): No. I feel fine, just I don’t want to go to church anymore.

Father: What are you talking about? As long as you live in this house you’re going to church.

Jen: But why . . . I don’t even believe in God anymore . . . why should I go to church?

Mother: How can you say something like that! After all God has done for you. All the miracles we’ve seen. We didn’t raise you this way.

Jen: How does anyone know if there really is a God?

Father: I’ve never doubted God for a second in my entire life. God never doubts you. Who gives you the right to doubt God? Is it your friends? I don’t like that Samantha. Her parents aren’t in church. Isn’t her brother gay? I smell something demonic here.

Jen: (eyes rolling) Neither Samantha nor her brother Neil have anything to do with this. How are you so sure there’s a God? . . . I stopped believing in a good God after Sophia was killed.

Father: Sophia?

Mother: Sophia was Jen’s friend at school who was hit by a drunk driver while on her bike.

Father: Jennifer, God is very good and in control. We can’t question his actions. He does everything for a reason. We just love him back in response.

Jen: So this good God just decides to murder Sophia for no good reason. That’s why I can’t believe anymore. That’s why Nietzsche said, “If there’s a God, he’s the devil.”

Father (making an ugly face): Nietzsche who?

Mother: When you have God in your heart, you can feel him. You just know it. He changes your life. You just know . . . that’s why it’s called faith. It’s spiritual. As the pastor said, doubt is a symptom of a deeper spiritual problem so there’s something wrong with your soul. Did someone at church hurt your feelings?

Jen: No!

Mother: Have you talked to Jeromy about this?

Jen: (giving a perplexed look): The youth pastor?

Mother: Yeah.

Jen: No Mom . . . he’s a creep.

Father: Don’t ever say that! Jeromy is the most godly man I know.

Jen (eyes roll): Yeah, right! That’s why I caught him feeling my butt when I was asleep on the bus during the mission trip. And Lindsay said they caught him looking in the window of the girls’ dressing room at the water park. He’s also spending a lot of time with Angie. She’s his favorite.

Father (speaking loudly): Don’t ever say things like that about Jeremy! It’s foolish gossip. Angie is a lovely girl and I can tell she loves the Lord. That’s why he’s interested in her.

Jen (mumbling): And has nice boobs and wears tight tee shirts.

Father (with a frown): What did you say?

Jen: Nothing!

Mother (shaking her head and looking at her hands): Jen, I don’t know who you are anymore. Jeromy has a beautiful, godly wife and a gorgeous little girl. He’s a devoted husband and father.

Father: You need to spend a lot of time in the Bible and prayer until you know that God is there again. You can’t think you way to God, that’s from the flesh. You would break your grandmother’s heart with your attitude. I’m so disappointed in you.

Mother: We’re sending you to a Christian school next year. Your dad and I’ve been discussing this. They teach science from the Bible, not from that evolution crap or Nietzsche that you get in public school. They’re brainwashing you.

This little skit attempts to capture the top five reasons people leave the church, 1) no rational evidence given for believing, 2) hypocrisy, 3) sexual or other abuse, 4) religious conspiracy theories, 5) LBGTQ issues.

If you think the issue with the youth pastor is over-the-top, then I suggest you Google: “Youth Pastor Arrested,” and scroll down at least 4-5 pages of the results.

Respectfully, Mike