I hate to leave things undone, however, I considered dropping this topic. But I do have unfinished business within it. The danger is I’m writing on another one of those steroid nights, I have a deluge of thoughts … meanwhile sleep evades me. First, I will make it clear to anyone who is not familiar…

Once a week, with my chemo, I must take a hefty dose of steroids. Those nights I fall asleep and then awaken about midnight and am up for the rest of the night (typical side effects). During those early mornings, my mind (again from the steroids) become filled with a stream of important thoughts. This…

The theme song to the movie and tv series, Mash, was Suicide is Painless. It is too cumbersome to explain that song here, but to say, of course suicide is anything but. Suicide brings incredible pain to a family, maybe more so than any other cause of death. There is anger married to the bereavement,…

Labs back. The kidneys are still at their improved state. The cancer is definitely coming out of remission, but on a slow course. This trend is clear since April. I don’t have to do anything new just yet, but if this trend continues, by December, (or sooner), I will need to grid up my loins…

Our hearts are heavy, pulled into the earth like a stone. The swing is straight and still, strung to the ground like a plumb. Their absence penetrates all the busy places with silence once more. Goodbye dear children … please, oh please come again.

Monthly labs returned this morning. First the good news. My renal labs had a remarkable improvement (after dropping last month). This month my estimated GFR went from 22.2 to 27.5 which is a rather profound improvement for 30 days. Now my kidneys are functioning at about half normal rather than just a fraction. My cancer…

As most of you know, America and the world is on the cusp of yet another deadly surge in COVID infections, this time being driven by the highly contagious Delta Variant, which is also more deadly than the previous infections. All the computer models (the same ones that were very accurate over this last year)…

I want to say that I am sincerely sorry for any offense words I have used in this blog over the past few years. I tend to feel strongly about things, good things and bad. As most of you know, I have had strong (negative) views toward Donald Trump. There is no reason to discuss…

Just a brief follow up. I was seen at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance on Tuesday. As I described, it is hard to tell if my cancer is coming out of remission because of mixed lab findings. They agree that it is not clear. We have decided to follow one value, my gamma light chain proteins…

Update: The last time I wrote, I spoke of being in a window of positive news about my cancer. My symptoms were low and the tests were favorable. I was at the point of being giddy, and guilty for feeling so good when I have friends suffering. Anyone who has dealt with a chronic disease,…