A while back I received a text from someone that they feared that cancer had turned me into an angry and bitter man. That was a bit painful to hear, yet I spent 24 hours soul searching about that. It is not true. I am no different than before, except maybe caring even less what people think about me and more driven to stand for truth.
I think this person (a Trump supporter) was responding to my showing clear anger after Donald Trump had spent 3+ years spouting racist ideas from his bully pulpit. In May of 2019 (and I watch virtually all of his rallies) he started his usual false narrative of how immigrants are raping our women, stealing our jobs, and bring drugs and germs to America when someone in crowd yelled that we should shoot them, and he laughed (I will try to post that below). He then had a four more rallies after that with the same hate speech, then on August 3rd, Patrick Crusius, a self-described Trump supporter, opened fire on Hispanic families visiting (legally) a Walmart in El Paso, Texas. He killed 23 people and seriously injured 23 more. Some of them were little children. All of them were innocent victims.
This really pissed me off. I heard Trump’s racist comments for three years while his followers were complacent. It troubles me mostly that Trump’s evangelicals were complacent. But I spoke up in anger as all decent human beings should have.
But this supporter was not troubled by Trump inciting such horrible racially motivated violence (clearly if he had not said the things he did, those people would not have been killed), but they were troubled that I said angry things about Trump.
I have the heart of a poet. I don’t write like a poet but I wish I did. I feel things deeply like a poet, both the incredible wonder of this world and things that piss me off (usually in the areas of human injustice or harming our planet). But to balance the voice I’ve given here to those negative things I want to briefly state the positive, which I deeply feel although I fail to say enough about.
I wrote about the feelings of isolation and trying to fight against it. After that post, Curt set up a zoom meeting with me and I talked his ear (and screen) off. Kevin came by for coffee. Jean called me (or maybe I called her). David, an old friend, called and we talked for well over an hour. Today Jerry is having me over for social distancing coffee and Diane invited me over for a social distancing interaction. Kristi (a mental health professional) invited me to chat. Lastly, my son Ramsey came home. It is complicated as he was tested for COVID-19 and until we hear back, we have to socially distance ourselves from one another. I am deeply grateful for those loving gestures.
So, no, cancer has not made me an angry and bitter person. My mother told me when I was in the first grade, “You’re not like normal children. You feel things very deeply.” I will continue speaking out against injustices, lying, and abusing this planet. I will also try to speak out more about the beauty I see in the universe and in people, more.
A Word about Writing:
I am still waiting for my editor to finish with Ristretto Rain. I will spend the month of June rewriting it for the final version. I’m still excited about it.
I am taking an online creative writing course taught by 5 best selling authors. I’ve learned a lot already, but one thing is that they have very different views on how to write.
I have now started two novels. One is tentatively called Narrow Places. The other one has been in the back of my mind and is tentatively titled, Eyan Bieyan; Retribution as a sequel to my Waters of Bimini. It picks up on one character, Bryan Rogers, and develops him into a Jason Bourne type Protagonist in an international thriller. I want to take the reader on a journey into the bowels of Islamic terrorism and the ambiguities that lie within. I am so deeply involved with this story I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not living Yemen right now.
Mike, the Lake Hermit
Footnote: as I was getting ready to publish his, my editor notified me that my manuscript it done. Now I have so many writing irons in the fire, that it will be glorious!